I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize