? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the condom got lost in my hair
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
