She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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