Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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