It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
