New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize