Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You pole danced in your parka.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize