I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize