why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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