Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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