I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
