What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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