i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
