If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
