I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
