ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
