I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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