don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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