whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
