she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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