paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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