How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
