i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
