i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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