you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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