I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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