We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
