she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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