Having a random hookup so left but love u
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
