No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
