Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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