I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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