Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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