I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
