I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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