I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
