Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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