planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
