I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
