Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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