ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
