sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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