Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
