Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Michael Bay diarrhea
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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