I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
