okay pat passed out under dana's car
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
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