Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
