mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
