i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
