i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
