I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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