I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
one might say we're banned from that church
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
