uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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