The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
