sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
