yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
